Conversations with Kimeron
Kimeron sent me a detailed account of how he grew up and understood about his sexuality. You can read it here. It is fairly long (six pages), but after reading it I was able to put myself at least somewhat in his shoes. We are far quicker to judge something or someone that we don’t understand, so in that line of thinking I’d encourage you to spend a few moments reading through his perspective.
One thing that is evident to me in this discussion is that when the Church talks about homosexuality as a sin, it is referring to a behavior. When gay people talk about homosexuality, they are referring to an identity. I think this distinction is important to remember, especially when Christians seem surprised by how judged and isolated gay people often feel from them.
What is your reaction to reading Kimeron’s story?
This is the personal blog of Jeremy Jernigan. Husband, father, teaching pastor, and student of truth.
Wow, I just finished reading Dr. Harding’s story and his story is not unlike a lot of people who question where God is when their struggles and hardships come. Very interesting. Keep it up bro.
Z
Thank you so much for writing this letter Kimeron. What great insight. My cousin is gay and I have never heard his story. After reading this i am going to call him and ask him. He was raised in the church too but I don’t where he stands with God or the church right now. Now im curious. Thanks for your honesty and openness.
Wow! Thank you Kimeron for sharing your story with Jeremy and the rest of us. I think that as Christians we tend to jump to assumptions about things we don’t fully understand and comprehend. I know what the Bible says about homosexuality, but I also know that God is the ultimate judge. We need to be careful in using scripture to condemn people and passing judgement. That is for God and God alone.
After reading Kimeron’s story, he ceased to be a homosexual ‘sinner’ in my eyes and I immediately saw him as a human being created in the image of God and who has struggles like the rest of us. Did God make him gay? This is a tough one for me to wrestle with but, it is a question that only God can answer. I wish God was less confusing at times. I wish life was more black and white. However, the more I live the more I realize that I will never understand the mind and the ways of God. The relief comes in accepting that God doesn’t require us to know everything and have it all figured out. He doesn’t need our opinion on who gets in and out of the Kingdom of God. He will have mercy on whom he will have mercy, and compassion on whom he will have compassion. The choice is his. Thank God we don’t have that responsibility. Our only responsibility is to love God, and love people.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing you story. I don’t know why some Christians feel they are the judge and jury when it comes to passing judgment.
What do you think (ie. What does the Bible say?) about homosexuality in relation to other sexual sins? For instance, is a man who acts on his attraction to other men committing the same sin as a man who acts on his attraction to a woman when they are not married? Neither of these situations is right– in other words, both are sinful– but is there a difference between the two? Should the church treat these as different sins? There are churches who won’t allow homosexuals to become members; are there churches who won’t allow premarital fornicators to become members?
Troy – You raise a great question and that is what is behind my statement that the Church (collectively) often hasn’t handled this issue well. We are trying to bring healing and a new framework to process this in the future.
I tried to change a few terms and sentences in reading what Kimeron had to say about his journey. I substituted homosexuality with alcoholic. Instead of reading that the church thinks homosexuals as sinners, I read that the church looks at adultery as a sin. I, too am glad I go to a church that allows me to belong before I have all my belief structure down pat. I know I have gone though times in which I wrestled with my alcoholism and my adulterous activities and come to a similar conclusion that God made me that way He loves me inspite of what I do. After reading the honest rendering of this man’s struggles, I pray that I will be able to continue to come to grips with all that I realize is not beneficial for me to be a usable Christian. For me, the perfect example of hell onearth is not being fully in God’s will and fellowship and not be able to serve Him fully. Thank you again, Jeremy, for pursuing this dialog.
I so appreciate this dialogue you’ve begun Jeremy, and the conversation that’s ensued thus far!! Most especially I appreciate and am inspired by you Kimeron for your willingness to be transparent and authentic with virtual strangers here! I also incredibly respect how you’ve chosen to love rather than hate those that condemn. You understand that people fear what they understand the least. You could have chosen to become bitter and hardened and bring yourself to the level of those that have chosen to persecute you and also could have chosen to turn from God, but you haven’t. As Jeremy shared in his first blog post, this is an incredible opportunity for learning, growing, and healing for us as a community, but hopefully for the church as a whole.
Just from Kimeron’s story, it’s so incredibly apparent and powerful that God was and is moving and growing him to impact others. Something cool to see in anyone’s life! I don’t fully know how God chooses and/or allows who will be what in life, but I know without hesitation that God wants to be in relationship with everyone. Didn’t Jesus always reach out to those who were rejected? And I believe that’s what each of us are called to do. As Jared said, love God, love people.
I so appreciate this dialogue you’ve begun Jeremy, and the conversation that’s ensued thus far!! Most especially I appreciate and am inspired by you Kimeron for your willingness to be transparent and authentic with virtual strangers here! I also incredibly respect how you’ve chosen to love rather than hate those that condemn. You understand that people fear what they understand the least. You could have chosen to become bitter and hardened and bring yourself to the level of those that have chosen to persecute you and also could have chosen to turn from God, but you haven’t. As Jeremy shared in his first blog post, this is an incredible opportunity for learning, growing, and healing for us as a community, but hopefully for the church as a whole.
Just from Kimeron’s story, it’s so incredibly apparent and powerful that God was and is moving and growing him to impact others. Something cool to see in anyone’s life! I don’t fully know how God chooses and/or allows who will be what in life, but I know without hesitation that God wants to be in relationship with everyone. Didn’t Jesus always reach out to those who were rejected? And I believe that’s what each of us are called to do. As Jared said, love God, love people.
Thank you all for your kind comments. Romi, it is a little scary to put it out there with strangers, but it’s something that I know I have to do. I applaud Jeremy’s courage as well in exploring spirituality fully.
It was great for Kimeron to open up as he has and his outlook toward others is something we can all learn from.
I have a very close friend right now who is a homosexual and very “flamboyant”. He’s a great guy and the building of our relationship has been very strange, completely unexpected and I feel that God has placed him in my life for some reason. My wife loves him, I love him and we have tried to always be there for him.
I find it very saddening that there is such a division between the church / body of Christ and those who are gay. I feel that our job, as Christians, is to love, not “judge” and to be available to those who God places in our lives.
One thing I have found recently in “younger” christians, is a kind of acceptance for various sins, because of how the world influences us every single day in the media. Words like “tolerance” have become complete misnomers. We must not forget that the truth is written in God’s Word, and our full understanding of that truth is by the Holy Spirit. Issues in the world today, as for centuries are of a spiritual nature and do not change or become new just with the passing of time. You always hear people talking about how the sin in someone’s life affects other people in their life, not only them. However, this is not isolated to just one generation. Sin and its effects are trans-generational and evidence of this is shown over and over again through out the Bible. The entire book of Exodus shows us that the sin of people can not only effect other generations, but can also change into other forms of sin, because the actual sin itself doesn’t matter – it’s all the same to God.
However, God continued to love, just as he loves all of us today. How many of us have some area in our lives that we may not even realize is wrong in God’s eyes? I’m in no position to judge Kimeron or my friend for homosexuality and I even think that “judge” is a poor word to use, because it has taken on a very negative conotation in today’s society. God loves people – all people! The key word being Love and this is what we are commissioned to do as well, as Christians. Through this, let God work his Will in all of us.
I appreciate this dialog so much and I too want to thank Jeremy and Kimeron for their open and honest approach to this subject, and also thank everyone else for their interesting comments as well. I just thought I would bring a slightly different dimension to this dialog by introducing myself as the Mom of a gay son, a member of Jeremy’s church, and a leader of a support group that ministers to parents of gay children. What a blessed opportunity this has proven to be for me and my husband.
Our goal has always been to accept our son just as he is and show him unconditional love. With our son, communication has never been a problem between us. He is very intelligent, logical, has integrity and a good head on his shoulders. He truly is a kid you can be so proud of and we are, and at the same time I will honestly say that we have struggled to see how God was working His Will in his life, that is, before we found out that we could just trust God to do it.
When we found out that he was gay, Lou and I reacted very differently. We were both completely overwhelmed, hurt, and confused. I wanted to know all there was to know about this world I knew nothing about and for Lou, he wanted to continue to love his son as always, but not talk about it. But one thing our son could “take to the bank” was that he was accepted and always could come home and find a safe place there. To me, the churh should be that same kind of place. It should be a place where we can work out our individual spiritual needs without judgement as we seek God’s truth. As Jared said above, we can never understand the mind of God or have it all figured out, and He certainly doesn’t need us to help Him figure out who gets into His Kingdom! What God does tell us is that He, in His perfect time will work out His plan for each of our lives. None of us have done everything right so who are we to judge. God loves us all! We are to love God and each other as God loves us. God will take care of the rest.
So I’ve been thinking for a while how to make this lease offensive as possible, but I just don’t know how to do it. I know that scripture says the act of homosexuality is a sin, I do not believe that to be true I think there has been a change of some sort, but for all those that do and preach over and over that sinners of homosexuality will go to hell, please give it a rest. Romans 3:20 “Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.” Gay people are fully aware what the bible says about their style of living, I do not think it’s okay to beat them down about it. I hope that the message I wanted to communicate was conveyed
I have been following Kimeron’s blog for a few months, and hearing some interviews he gave. I am a gay 19 years old who have grown up in a different decade, but I what I have been through in my childhood and teenage approaches me to Kimeron’s environment with the world.
I am very amazed by such an initiative of the blog writer to start a this honest conversation with Dr. Kim. His and many other gay people’s stories have a lot to teach about how is it to be different and to live in fear and rejection. To allow this contact between “two worlds” is very important for the growth of both.
I hope these letters might somehow touch deeply the ones who read them, spreading feelings of love for one another. May we live in a world were no person may be treated with hate or seen as less-human. Wanting to know more about the difference is the first step of creating respect for the different person. I hope everytime ones that read the letters sees a gay person could at least try to put herself on the other’s shoes.