What Do I Do Now?
The last 9 months of my life have been unlike any other. I have received countless advice and preparation as to what to expect once Gavin was born. Much of it was unsolicited and honestly rather frustrating. Some of it was priceless. As we sit at the 2 week mark of Gavin’s life, I’ve had a few weeks to reflect on what was told to me as an expecting father and what I actually experienced. I have come to two conclusions:
- Becoming a parent is far more overwhelming than anyone can prepare you for. The most common thing that I heard from people was to “enjoy your sleep while you still can” almost as a curse on my dire future with a baby. This got frustrating to hear after about the 3rd time and was almost unbearable to hear the 75th time. It isn’t the amount of sleep that leads you to feel overwhelmed. It is your realized ignorance and inadequacy in a major new area of life compiled with a new responsibility unparalleled to any other.
- Becoming a parent is far more amazing than anyone can prepare you for. The first time I heard him cry. When they told me how much he weighed. The first time I saw him bundled in a blanket. The way his mouth curves when he is hungry and frustrated. Every time he gets hiccups after he eats. The way his eyes look when he is happy and content and stares back at you. Just thinking of any of these things could bring me to tears with pride and joy.
One of the absolute greatest sources of help for Michelle and I has been a book called “On Becoming Babywise” by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. In my opinion, this book is worth its weight in gold. I absolutely recommend this book to any parent with a baby…especially first time parents. It has been a rare source of confidence in a very unknown aspect of my life thus far.
So…my two week conclusion about parenting: awesome.
This is the personal blog of Jeremy Jernigan. Husband, father, teaching pastor, and student of truth.
I know a lot of parents who have done Babywise. Their kids are unlike anything I have seen. Very well behaved, great sleeping patterns, etc.
Not being a parent myself, I have no advice to offer except for this: Take in every moment, he will grow up fast, there will be many more milestones.
Have a great day, Jeremy!
We did Babywise for Sam, and he has been a champion sleeper from three weeks old. Other parents are blown away by how well our kid sleeps while they have to fight and wrestle and rock and cry theirs to sleep. I remember reading in it that other parents will say “you’re so lucky he’s such a good sleeper” but that’s a load of crap – you have to TEACH your child to be a good sleeper, it’s not luck! So good job, guys!!
Amen to what you have summarized! When I was pregnant 19 years ago, complete strangers would be compelled to come give me unsolicited advice and it got to be frustrating. I learned from that and work to give advice when asked.
Thanks for the recommendation on the book.
I’m so glad you guys like that book. It’s helped us a ton with Drew. When you’re ready (which will be far sooner than you realize) we’ll have to loan you Babywise II, Toddlerwise, and Pottywise.
And I can tell from your comments that you are already a great daddy!
Babywise worked for my kids ten plus years ago…especially for the firstborn. It’s tough to listen to the crying and do nothing. But when the third child comes along, don’t be surprised if you are in bed with your wife, both listening to your third child crying, and you are doing rock-paper-scissors for the fifteenth time to see who gets up. Double or nothing. Don’t laugh. We accidentally left our thirdborn in the lobby of a ski resort, for just a few short terrifying moments. Luckily, she is still with us. But seriously, Babywise’s author came under fire in the 90′s because Gary Ezzo did not have any education in child development. But like I said, Babywise worked for us for the most part. We did learn to differentiate the tone of the cries and respond accordingly. If the cry sounded like, “Dad, can you get your butt outta bed, pick me up, rest me gently on your palm and pat my back so I can rip one?”, I would get up and help the kid out. If the cry was less excruciating, I would sweat it out and let him calm himself down. Enjoy the joy! God Bless!
“It isn’t the amount of sleep that leads you to feel overwhelmed. It is your realized ignorance and inadequacy in a major new area of life compiled with a new responsibility unparalleled to any other.”
EXACTLY, Jeremy and it says two things about you:
1. You get it!
2. And you must be getting some good sleep to be able to think and write so coherently! I’m impressed. After my twins were born, I was lucky if I could speak a complete sentence! lol
You seem pretty much as giddy as I can imagine you getting, so I’m glad for ya
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Hay Jeremy, Michelle & Gavin,
First, congrats on Gavin’s arrival! We are so happy for you all!
Second, expectations are out the window! I had this idea that when Rebecca napped I was going to quilt…Ha, Ha, Ha. I finally gave that 1/2 done quilt away 10 years later. Enjoy your son and each other!
hey Jeremy…about Babywise…read this website ezzo.info