Tag Archive - Parenting

It’s Cool to Have Kids

Being a family of four now means that we not only sound old, but some of our lifestyle habits are quite a bit different than they were just a few years back. We get invited to things now that are totally impossible for us to attend because of our kid schedules and it is a funny reminder to us of what parenthood is truly like. But many people overlook how cool being a parent makes you. A few of my friends sent me this video and it is funny how much I can relate.

Which is in our nature?

I’ve often heard parents talk about how selfishness doesn’t have to be taught to kids. The illustration is usually given about kids using the word “mine.” The point is that they learn this concept naturally and parents have to teach them how to not say it.


So I’ve been waiting for those types of moments with Gavin. But surprisingly, I realized that there is a different phase that comes before the “mine” phase. Gavin loves to go around and give people his toys. I can be sitting in a chair reading and in a matter of moments half of his collection of toys will be in my lap. Even as I write this he is handing me things.


So my parental question is: which is truly in our nature if this is what comes first? Now, maybe not all kids experience it in this order, but it has got me thinking. I wonder if we are naturally selfless but we unlearn that as we get older?


5 Generation Rule

My friend Paul recently sent me an article about the legacy of the famous preacher Jonathan Edwards. Edwards and his wife had 11 children, and it has been noted that those 11 children and their children on down have made some pretty major impacts in our world.

“The scholar Benjamin B. Warfield of Princeton has charted the 1,394 known descendents of Edwards. What he found was an incredible testament to Jonathan Edwards. Of his known descendents there were 13 college presidents, 65 college professors, 30 judges, 100 lawyers, 60 physicians, 75 army and navy officers, 100 pastors, 60 authors of prominence, 3 United States senators, 80 public servants in other capacities including governors and ministers to foreign countries, and one vice-president of the United States.”


Impressive. But how does that affect us as parents today?

“The story of Jonathan Edwards is an example of what some sociologists call the ‘five-generation rule.’ How a parent raises their child – the love they give, the values they teach, the emotional environment they offer, the education they provide – influences not only their child but the four generations to follow. What fathers do, in other words, will reach through the next five generations.”


This is a pretty sobering and challenging thought to consider. What will your legacy look like in 5 generations? It also adds a whole new dimension to the idea of seed prayers that I’ve blogged about before.

The Source of Creativity

I recently read the book, Babywise 2, since Gavin is now 5 months old. It is the next edition of the book that was so helpful to us when he was born. One of the things that they mention in the book is the way to train your child to be creative. After I read this, it got me thinking quite a bit.

“Creativity is the product of boundaries, not freedom. With absolute freedom there is no need for creative thinking or problem-solving.” -Babywise 2


This idea is a paradoxical one. Especially when creativity often feels so ellusive. We naturally assume that freedom produces creativity, and yet that is not the case. For an adult, it means that we must embrace times of boundaries instead of wishing for more freedoms. What can you get with a limited budget? What can you accomplish in a limited amount of time? What can you develop with few resources at your disposal? These are questions that produce creativity, and yet most of us don’t like being in these situations. For a leader who wants to be creative it means you must not just embrace these situations, but actually seek them out. Only then will the conditions of creativity be in place and you’ll be primed to deliver something great.

What Do I Do Now?

The last 9 months of my life have been unlike any other. I have received countless advice and preparation as to what to expect once Gavin was born. Much of it was unsolicited and honestly rather frustrating. Some of it was priceless. As we sit at the 2 week mark of Gavin’s life, I’ve had a few weeks to reflect on what was told to me as an expecting father and what I actually experienced. I have come to two conclusions:

  1. Becoming a parent is far more overwhelming than anyone can prepare you for. The most common thing that I heard from people was to “enjoy your sleep while you still can” almost as a curse on my dire future with a baby. This got frustrating to hear after about the 3rd time and was almost unbearable to hear the 75th time. It isn’t the amount of sleep that leads you to feel overwhelmed. It is your realized ignorance and inadequacy in a major new area of life compiled with a new responsibility unparalleled to any other.
  2. Becoming a parent is far more amazing than anyone can prepare you for. The first time I heard him cry. When they told me how much he weighed. The first time I saw him bundled in a blanket. The way his mouth curves when he is hungry and frustrated. Every time he gets hiccups after he eats. The way his eyes look when he is happy and content and stares back at you. Just thinking of any of these things could bring me to tears with pride and joy.

One of the absolute greatest sources of help for Michelle and I has been a book called “On Becoming Babywise” by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. In my opinion, this book is worth its weight in gold. I absolutely recommend this book to any parent with a baby…especially first time parents. It has been a rare source of confidence in a very unknown aspect of my life thus far.


So…my two week conclusion about parenting: awesome.