Tag Archive - Preaching

The Art of the Finch Kiss

Here are the videos from this weekend along with some of my quotes I used.

“They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.” Oscar Wilde

There is no cruise control when it comes to healthy relationships.

“Most of these studies have focused on display behaviors that characterize pair formation or mate choice — all these processes that interest people working on the evolutionary aspect of sexual selection. We forgot to think about what was going on after pair formation.” Clementine Vignal, sensory ecologist

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a

“But Paul is plainly saying—look at his words—that it is love that does these things, not us, and that what we are to do is to ‘pursue love’ (1 Cor. 14:1). As we ‘catch’ love, we then find that these things are after all actually being done by us. These things, these godly actions and behaviors, are the result of dwelling in love. We have become the kind of person who is patient, kind, free of jealousy, and so on.” Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy

1 Corinthians 7:13-16

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but looking outward in the same direction.” Anoine de Saint-Exupery

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” Bruce Lee

The Discomfort of New Truth

“I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleagues, proudly taught to others, and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives.” Leo Tolstoy

a_dant_robert_coin_tossI clearly remember one small group night at my house when we discussed some sporting event involving a coin toss. I made some comment, based on what I now know as the gambler’s fallacy, that the other guys in our group immediately pushed back on. And me, being the humble and soft spoken gentlemen that I am, proceeded to argue further and further on my point.

Still eager to prove myself right, I immediate hit the web after our group left to research and find proof of my argument. And that’s when I learned how dead wrong I was. Luckily, I wasn’t the first person to use the gambler’s fallacy as a way of thinking, but I had to determine how to proceed from that point on. I wrote the guys an apology email and waved the white flag.

This quote from Tolstoy perfectly illustrates the uncomfortable reality that many of us who teach deal with. I love learning truth and communicating it to others, but a natural product of that is that sometimes I change my mind on something that I had previously believed, and previously taught on, into a new way of thinking of it. This hasn’t been on anything huge like Jesus or the Biblical view of salvation, but there are a handful of passages I can think of that if I were to teach on them today it would look radically different than when I’ve taught on them in the past.

What’s the solution to this problem? The solution is to realize that all of us are on a journey of trying to make sense of life, of God, and of ourselves. We can feign different confidence levels, but in reality we are all giving it our best guess based on what we’ve seen and experienced. This means that we should also assume that this discomfort that comes with learning new truth should be a very normal and essential part of us to continuing to grow and develop.

I would even go so far as to say that if you don’t find yourself dealing with this issue, you’re probably not growing.

If you cannot allow yourself to truly accept, or even consider, a new truth just because of how you have thought about it in the past, it really comes down to an issue of pride. I for one pray that we would create a culture where there is room for us to teach truth as we understand it, allow ourselves to change ideas and understandings, and allow for healthy disagreement… especially among believers. We can be the conduit for each other to make sense of what God is calling us to and teaching us in the process.

Duct Tape, Myths, and Divorce

UPDATE*** 10/19-2010 – after a few requests for my closing quote, I have included it as well as some of my other quotes at the end of this post.

Here is some follow up content to my message this weekend at Central.

There are 5 myths (probably more) that a person considering divorce usually believes going into it; while a person who has been divorced knows to be false:

  1. Divorce is easy. “Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary by-pass. After such a monumental assault on the heart, it takes years to amend all the habits and attitudes that led up to it.” -Mary Kay Blakely. Ask any divorced person you know whether they thought it was easy and I’d be stunned to find even one person. When you think about legal fees, separating possessions, kids, social awkwardness, living residencies, emotional issues, etc, and there is little simplicity in the process.
  2. I will have more money. “Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.” -Richard Wagner. Many people anticipate child support but “spousal maintenance” is often overlooked. I recently heard of one person who owes $3500 a month on his ex alone. Divorce means that you will pay lawyers to communicate instead of you (realistically tens of thousands of dollars), and the fees will quickly begin to add up. One person on our Facebook page said it this way, “We communicated better during the divorce than the years leading up to it.” Studies show that women experiencing divorce face roughly a 30 percent decline in the standard of living they enjoyed while married and men show a 10 percent decline.
  3. It will be better for my kids. One person on our Facebook said that “Divorce is hardest on our children.” I’ve seen the devastation that happens to the kids firsthand by watching what my wife has gone through, and she was 22 when her parents got divorced. With younger kids they usually feel some of the blame themselves that they often carry with them indefinitely into their adult lives. Not to mention their idea of stability has been shattered and they now watch as their parents are reduced to just trying to be civil. This also drastically increases their chances that they will experience a divorce themselves as it becomes “normal” to them.
  4. It won’t bother me if they move on. “You can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, abandon your children. But they remain your co-authors forever.” -Ellen Goodman. While you may think that you want to get as far away from your current spouse as possible, most people don’t anticipate the feelings of turmoil that they go through when they watch that person begin to move on. If you have kids, this is exponentially more true. Imagine watching another person raise your kids part time and hearing them call another person “dad” or “mom” in addition to you.
  5. I will have less problems. Read 1-4. You will be dealing with the repercussions from your divorce for the rest of your life. As one comment on our Facebook said, “Divorce is the ‘tearing of flesh’ that God made into one flesh. You will never be the same.”

The moral of the story is that divorce isn’t remotely as painless as the world is trying to tell us. It’s not God’s desire for our lives for a reason. God offers forgiveness and healing for any mistake we make in our lives but we need to rethink divorce as the easy solution that culture tells us it is. On a side note, for those of you that were privileged enough to see the glory of my custom made duct tape wallet this weekend, here is my elementary school friend that taught me how to do it. Enjoy!

I closed the service with a quote from Lewis Smedes, “The Power of Promises”

“Yes, somewhere people still make and keep promises. They choose not to quit when the going gets rough because they promised once to see it through. They stick to lost causes. They hold on to a love grown cold. They stay with people who have become pains in the neck. They still dare to make promises and care enough to keep the promises they make. I want to say to you that if you have a ship you will not desert, if you have people you will not forsake, if you have causes you will not abandon, then you are like God.

What a marvelous thing a promise is! When a person makes a promise, she reaches out into an unpredictable future and makes one thing predictable: she will be there even when being there costs her more than she wants to pay. When a person makes a promise, he stretches himself out into circumstances that no one can control and controls at least one thing: he will be there no matter what the circumstances turn out to be. With one simple word of promise, a person creates an island of certainty in a sea of uncertainty.”

Also, here are some of the verses and quotes that I used:

“Divorce is like an amputation. Sometimes it’s necessary but it should be avoided if at all possible because it brings about a permanent disability.” Bill Doherty

Malachi 2:16 “‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel, ‘and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the Lord Almighty.”

Matthew 19:3-10 (main passage of the weekend)

“The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce.” Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

“Biblically, polygamy is a hundred times more acceptable than divorce.” Paul Stevens

Matthew 5:43-47

Faith Passages in Luke

Dodo bird - extinctThis last weekend I had the privilege of teaching at all of Central’s services. I talked about people with faith that Jesus pointed out. I referenced these people as endangered species, since it seems that there was something remarkable about them in the way they stood out. This of course led to talk of the Dodo bird, which is fun to work into any message.

It was based out of the accounts in the Gospel of Luke. I quoted a line from each of these six passages briefly, but here I include them in their context with the part about faith underlined.

Luke 5:17-20 “One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith, he said, ‘Friend, your sins are forgiven.‘”

Luke 7:1-10 “When Jesus had finished saying all this to the people who were listening, he entered Capernaum. There a centurion’s servant, whom his master valued highly, was sick and about to die. The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some elders of the Jews to him, asking him to come and heal his servant. When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with him, ‘This man deserves to have you do this, because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue.’ So Jesus went with them. He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: ‘Lord, don’t trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.’ When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, ‘I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel.’ Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well.”

Luke 7:36-50 “When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, ‘If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.’ Jesus answered him, ‘Simon, I have something to tell you.’ ‘Tell me, teacher,’ he said. ‘Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?’ Simon replied, ‘I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.’ ‘You have judged correctly,’ Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, ‘Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.’ Then Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’ The other guests began to say among themselves, ‘Who is this who even forgives sins?’ Jesus said to the woman, ‘Your faith has saved you; go in peace.’”

Luke 8:42b-48 “As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. ‘Who touched me?’ Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, ‘Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.’ But Jesus said, ‘Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.’ Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.’”

Luke 17:11-19 “Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, ‘Jesus, Master, have pity on us!’ When he saw them, he said, ‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, ‘Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?’ Then he said to him, ‘Rise and go; your faith has made you well.’”

Luke 18:35-42 “As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, ‘Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.’ He called out, ‘Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!’ Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, ‘Son of David, have mercy on me!’ Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, What do you want me to do for you?’ ‘Lord, I want to see,’ he replied. Jesus said to him, ‘Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.’ Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.”

All of these lead us to Luke 18:1-8 where Jesus asks “when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” So what does your faith invite God to do in your life?

What Does God Want?

This weekend I preached on Ephesians 5:21-33 where Paul addresses husbands and wives. Verse 25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” So, in the context of the Church, we are the bride and Christ is the husband.


Now look at verse 33: “each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” I think this verse shows the two biggest needs that husbands and wives have. Wives need to be loved by their husbands, and husbands need to be respected by their wives. When each receive this from their spouse, you get the “profound mystery” that Paul references.


So if we take these two ideas and combine them together, does that mean that Jesus is looking for respect from us? If we as His Church are His bride, do we need love most? That doesn’t seem to be something we’d argue, but I don’t hear about God desiring respect from us often. We often talk about giving God glory, but I wonder why we don’t talk about giving Him respect.


What do you think? Does God desire respect from us? I don’t think I’ve ever heard a worship song that talked about giving God respect, but maybe they exist.

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