- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice
- Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter.”
- Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can speak braille.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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